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On our tendency to base our self-worth on how we compare to others
We compare ourselves to others of the same (or similar) race, gender, upbringing, socio-economic group, education level, etc. We determine our self-worth often within those norms.
That’s why high school reunions are emotionally fraught, especially as the decades pass. And guess what? I just went to my 32nd high school reunion and many of us admitted we were very nervous, even panicked! This fear almost kept some of us from going, and perhaps influenced the decision of a handful who did not attend.
I believe my son Diego, who is 25, does not have this problem and never will. He’s different not only in that he has special needs (autism and an intellectual disability) but also in terms of his peer group. It’s small and very diverse, each member so unique that we parents suppress the urge to compare.
Plus Diego and his peers do not care about “measuring up” or have no notion of such a thing.
It’s a breath of fresh air and a reminder of the futility of “measuring up.”
